Q. If you could cancel any online game, which would it be? (Answer!)
Q. If you could bring any book, movie or comic to life in a game, which would you choose? (Answer!)
A. I would bring 1984 to life in WoW, and then come to realise nothing changed, any way.
Q. What sort of players annoy you the most? (Answer!)
A. Arrogance I can tolerate, stupidity, too. But if you are as arrogant as you are stupid, you should be fed to man-eating sharks in service to mankind.
Q. What are your thoughts on player-made mods/addons for games? (Answer!)
A. Capable of more creativity than the inbred jerk-off circle of any fascist corporation.
Q. Have you ever had a memorable real-life meeting with other gamers? (Answer!)
A. Are you coming on to me? Why, arrr... *blush*
Q. What are your thoughts on roleplaying in games? (Answer!)
A. The easiest troll job on the interwebs. I love roleplayers.
Q. How many hours a week do you play? (Answer!)
Q. What is your first computer or video gaming memory? (Answer!)
A. Pacman on Commodore 64.
Q. If you made your own game, what would it be like? (Answer!)
A. It would be a MMORPG in the medieval fantasy setting. Standard stuff. But it would have a special pit of hell to which to send the excessively stupid and arrogant. Once confined to this place, the poor bastard would have his credit card racked up $5 every 2 seconds, and his e-mail would be submitted to every filthy rotten spam job in the interwebs. Did I mention the feature where the game client would install filthy man to man pornos for him and then tell his mom? Yup.
Don't tell anyone.
Q. What are the proper uses of tank guns and bubblegum? (Answer!)
A. Kick ass and chew bubblegum, -- wait, what bubblegum? I'm all out of bubblegum. Bubblegum.
Q. What do you love or hate about PVP? (Answer!)
A. The youngest and most stupid will be drawn to whichever is the most ridiculously overpowered combination at any given time. And then "skillz!!1" you.
Q. What are your most memorable achievements in a game? (Answer!)
A. Achievements in a game!? NOW they tell me!
Q. What are your favorite tabletop (RPG, board, miniatures, etc.) games? (Answer!)
A. Monopoly. I *always* win. I'll cheat against my own granny, though. Just kidding, love you long time, gran :)
Q. What sort of tools (calculators, builders, spreadsheets, etc.) do you use to plan your characters? (Answer!)
A. Common sense and a modicum of inference. There aren't games about doing your taxes. Yet.
Q. What are the specs on your gaming rig? (Answer!)
A. This old thing? Bought it from the soviets. Let's not talk specs.
Q. Are you interested in working within the game industry? (Answer!)
A. Am I interested in giving up my time and duties elsewhere to be a corporate coffee fetcher? Hmm. Yes.
Q. Do your quiz results on GamerDNA reflect your personality, and if not, what did it get wrong? (Answer!)
A. It failed to ask pirate questions. GuildCafe should not discriminate against pirates and the pirate way of life. Please rectify.
A. Yes, but only when absolutely needed
Q. What question would you add to the Attitudes system? (Answer!)
A. Pirate questions. Lots of them. Where did you get your parrot and what kind of colorful phrases have you taught it? Do you wear a pirate hat or do you feel that the undue attention from lustful women detract from your pirating?
And so on.
Q. If you could meet any game developer, who would it be? (Answer!)
A. I would meet the guys behind Fallout 2 and pray at their feet. I also would like to meet the fascist WoW forum moderators. In a back alley. If you know what I mean.
A. Mods are fer sissies. I want it au naturelle.
Q. Why do you join guilds or clans? (Answer!)
A. To have a better platform for perverting the minds of those around me.
Q. How do you feel about selling virtual items for real money? (Do NOT advertise RMT services!) (Answer!)
A. None of my business and none of yours either. Don't you believe in free trade? Pirates do. I wipe my arse with ToS legalese fascist gibberish.
Q. How do you feel about playing characters of the opposite sex? (Answer!)
A. The successful troll is above all such barriers. I would play a transexual black midget.
Q. When you are not playing games, what do you do for fun? (Answer!)
A. Work, work, work. Apparently also answering GamerDNA questions. What am I up to, over nine thousand?
Q. What is the most memorable flamewar you can remember? (Answer!)
Q. Have you ever had a romantic encounter with someone you met in a game? (Answer!)
A. I struck it up with this sheep in Elwynn Forest once. I have pictures, I do, aye.
Q. What is the most overlooked or misunderstood game? (Answer!)
A. The Russian roulette. It could literally save the earth from overpopulation, it could, but no one's willing to give it a chance.
Q. What do your characters and avatars usually look like? (Answer!)
Q. In real life, are you male or female? (Answer!)
Q. Beside GamerDNA, what are your favorite websites? (Answer!)
A. Yeargh.com, of course! Steer your ship to
http://www.yeargh.com/
fer all the bullshit you could ever want, without registrations or any of that fascist crap.
Q. When do you play, including timezone? (Answer!)
A. It depends on the mood of my parrot.
Q. Other than your console or PC, what is the piece of hardware you can't live without? (Answer!)
A. Mainly my heart, lungs, bottle of rum and other vital life support systems.
Q. What music do you like to play games to? (Answer!)
A. Whatever the game developers saw fit to cram down my filthy ear canals. What do I look like, some kind of..emo fairy?
Q. What experience do you have beta-testing games? (Answer!)
A. They don't let pirates in on that action, but that's fine. We don't need it. We make our own damn game betas and fill it with rum and pirate hoes. And Teletubbies.
Q. Do you feel relationships within games are meaningful? (Answer!)
A. Are you coming on to me, sailor?
Q. What is a feature you would like added to GamerDNA? (Answer!)
A. The one where forms don't freeze up due to all the hip Ajax thingamajigg.
Q. Where did you get your gaming names from? (Answer!)
A. My filthy gutter of a subconscious mind. You don't want to go there.
