Ok, so here's another one of those stories where I went on an adventure. You know how in Everquest there existed those really long, hard quests called epics? Well I was a necromancer, which meant I had a 1 in 315 probability of getting my epic. It combined luck, skill and intelligence, three aspects I didn't always have.

So the Herbalist didn't always drop the piece I needed and I felt that maybe if I kept doing it I'd eventually get the damn thing. I mean in the higher guilds necros were run through their epic all the time. I mean how hard could it be? After about three trips, at about four hours each, I grew frustrated.

Chardok had held a prize from one of the favored sons of a force no mob could resist. The Sarnaks had called upon the ire of the Booter Clan. I grabbed Jahnda, as I tended to do, and dragged her down into the pit with my shorter, hairier brethren, and proceeded to layeth the smacketh down upon them until the Herbalist finally coughed up the epic item.

I look back and consider this one of my fonder memories of Everquest: claiming something I wanted with the group of people who mattered. Bitie was his usual, assholey, flirty self. You know, the guy who always flirts with the girls and gets them? And then Jeran was the rock of the group, the straight man. We were kind of like the A-Team: Bitie was Face, I was Murdock and Jeran was Mr. T. We didn't really have a Hannibal.

I'm rambling.

I was once a simple young man. A teenager if you will, prone to the normal things like depression and anger, and being misguided. Filled with angst if you will. But Everquest changed these things.

It was through the few real friends I made through that game that I became a better person. I know what you're thinking, real friends don't happen online. But that is a lie. Real friends occur everywhere and anytime as long as we share something in common.

The thing that opened myself was probably roleplaying. I have only a few people to thank for that. It allowed me to experiment with my own personality without being attacked by my peers. Eventually, through this same experimentation, I grew up. Of course by then my opportunities to roleplay have almost ceased to exist. So I've kind of gotten stale. But I'm hopeful that one day I'll get an opportunity again.

Here's to you, Everquest, and the things you gave me to make me the man I am today!

This will be quick.

Three human players versus five computers are normally easy games for those who know their way around the system. Netris, Jeran and I rocked at the game and could do serious damage. But if we teamed up against computers we would die. Guaranteed.

Eventually I made a map that made defense possible, but it felt like a cheap victory. Then again, Netris always liked that.

Fuck you Netris.

He ALWAYS has to pick the one race and unit that is impossible to beat. With Age of Empires II it was the Persian Elephants. You know why? Because they attacked like soldiers but had huge HP and did Siege damage. Add into that the fact they can be upgraded to some kind of SUPER Persian Elephant and if you waited long enough victory was impossible. Netris is cheap. End of story.

You hear that Netris? Every fucking time. EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. We'd play Starcraft and we'd say "Netris, no Guardians. They're cheap." And he'd reply with "Ok" and then take us out back and shoot us with about forty guardians.

What happens to be so broken about them? Simple. They are air-to-surface zerg units that have the longest range out of any unit. Now the problem lies in that they can't attack air. That's what most people who use them say. But guess what? It doesn't matter. You can't produce enough anti-air and still have a significant attack or defense force to protect yourself for the next time a wave comes. Zerg are cheap. Not just for their zerglings but because they also have guardians. The worst thing I ever saw was an army of two guys. One had guardians and one had zerglings. I had half the map and it was gone in about two minutes.

Blech. And their ugly too.