Darkest of Days (X360)

“Played the demo. Thank god for demos because they save you from buying truly @#$% games. Very ugly game. Looks like it started development on the Nintendo 64 and ended up on the 360. Seriously fugly character models. The only good looking one is...”

“Played the demo. Thank god for demos because they save you from buying truly @#$% games.

Very ugly game. Looks like it started development on the Nintendo 64 and ended up on the 360. Seriously fugly character models. The only good looking one is Mother, the scientist who recruits you, and you only see her eyes and cool brow tattoo thingy on a screen. The demo crashed during Antietam, and I lost interest and didn't bother putting it back on because the sound had already gone out. Maybe the final game is less glitchy, but according to reviews, I doubt it.

The premise is interesting, though by no means original, allowing you to play several wars in the history of war and gaming, but you have no idea why. You pop out of the Battle of Little Big Horn into a future lab, where you are informed by "Mother" on a vidscreen that you are perfect for going through time to fix it--but don't ask me why, because she failed to mention the "because." You're perfect for a job but not told why. This omission is critical to the supposed storyline. And why your character goes along with this mutely, compliantly, and unquestioningly is also unexplained. The drill sergeant who runs you through the tutorial level is typically gruff and potty-mouthed, but not convincingly. The dialogue is abominable and could have used the touch of a professional writer instead of a pack of post-adolescent game developers who are only familiar with stereotypes. This game is a huge no.

The good part, however, was watching that jackass General Custer bite it at Little Big Horn right before your character gets pulled into the watery time-bubble thing that transports him to the future, which effect is also pretty cool. But the gameplay blows, the graphics are a decade old, the dialogue is abominable, the sound engineers failed to show up for work, and the whole thing feels broken. PASS.”