Assassin's Creed (MOB)

“This is how I think this monstrosity came to be: [Ubisoft Dev #1] Did you hear they're outsourcing for the mobile version? [Dev #2] Yeah. Less work for us, though. [Dev #1] Soo...wanna mess with 'em? [Dev #2] YOU KNOW IT! *high...”

“This is how I think this monstrosity came to be:

[Ubisoft Dev #1] Did you hear they're outsourcing for the mobile version?
[Dev #2] Yeah. Less work for us, though.
[Dev #1] Soo...wanna mess with 'em?
[Dev #2] YOU KNOW IT! *high five*

(Later that day at a meeting with Gameloft)

[Devs] Ok, so here's some non-important terms to throw in: Piece of Eden, Templar, Assassin, Master. Just stick 'em somewhere. His primary weapon is a sword. He can wall jump and has a grappling hook. He also uses bombs to blow up walls. Don't worry about the story, nobody cares. And make sure the Masters eyes are glowing Red in every sprite depicting him. That's important. The eviler the better! Oh, and don't worry about control schemes. All you'll need are, hmm...a direction pad and 1 button to handle everything. Any questions?
[Gameloft] *monkey screeches then bangs on a keyboard*
[Devs] Excellent. Have fun!

For the TL;DR crowd:
Do not buy this game. Do not play this game.”